Perfume
by Jaded Delirium
Summary: Zuko buys a perfume in an attempt to woo Katara... but Aang does the same thing! What will happen? How does Sokka fit in? Crackfic.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except for the plot!

Perfumes used in this story do not actually attract anyone. Just a fun twist!

It was an ordinary day for the Avatar gang. Just another walk through the forest to nowhere particular. Aang was stroking Momo while humming something random, and Sokka and Katara were arguing about some money Sokka spent on some too expensive food. Hmm hmm hmm… a normal day. Until a certain prince appeared. Yep, Prince Zuko darted right out of some nearby bushes in front of the crew. Sokka and Katara stopped arguing, and Aang got into his fighting stance. Zuko raised his hand in a kind-of-stop-sign-or-maybe-a-sign-of-defeat way.

"I haven't come to fight, you know," he said.

"Sheesh, then what _have_ you come for? My sister and I were just in the middle of a fight over some very expensive, worthwhile and tasty beef jerky!" Sokka glared at Zuko in an I'm-going-to-hurt-you-very-much-if-you-don't-butt-out way.

"It was _turkey_ jerky, brother! You can't even remember your own purchase!" Katara yelled at Sokka.

"Relax, geez," replied Zuko, "I've come to show you… my recently purchased perfume! It's 'Very Irresistible' by Givenchy!" Zuko showed them a green container of cologne.

"Huh?" said Aang, Katara and Sokka.

"Very nice, now MOVE!" Sokka shoved past Zuko impatiently, followed by his friends.

"Wait! I came here to see if my new perfume works on Katara!" They all turned to Zuko, Katara with a He's-definitely-gone-crazy look on her face.

"I'm currently unavailable right now, thanks to an argument with my reckless shopper of a brother!" Katara gave Zuko a death glare. Sokka blew his sister a raspberry.

"Then I'll make you all stay!" Zuko uncorked the bottle. All the scent floated into the air, and everyone had funny looks on their face.

"Gee… that smells heavenly…" Katara lurched rather drunkenly toward Zuko.

"It's supposed to attract anyone who I have a major crush on," Zuko grinned evilly at the drugged girl staggering toward him. Aang glared.

"Alright then! Two can play at this game!" Aang flew away and came back in a millisecond. He held out another bottle.

"This is 'Obsession' by Calvin Klein! It also attracts anyone I have a major crush on!" Aang uncorked his bottle.

"Come on, Katara! Over here…" Katara started walking toward Aang.

"So many fragrances… I don't know which one to follow…" she said groggily. Aang smirked triumphantly at Zuko.

"I'll be right back…" Katara zipped away for a moment. Before anyone could register what happened, she was back with a white and purple container.

"This is 'Stoked' by Bethany Hamilton! It attracts… well all males!" Aang and Zuko started lurching toward her. Katara shrugged at Sokka.

"Ah… what can you do with both of them!" Katara smiled sheepishly.

"So do you like Aang or Zuko?" Sokka shouted.

"Aang… though Zutara does have a nice ring to it…" Katara giggled. Sokka groaned.

"Ha ha… she likes me better than you…" Aang said to Zuko, who frowned.

"Whatever… I'll have her sooner or later…" Zuko growled. Sokka smiled mischievously.

"Since everyone's distracted…" Sokka ran off. In less than a second, but not a millisecond, he returned with a blue container.

"Aha! This is my new perfume, 'Hypnose' by Lancome! It hypnotizes and attracts everyone, male or female!" Sokka uncorked the bottle. Aang, Katara and Zuko immediately staggered toward Sokka.

"Male and female? Sokka… are you going brokeback?" Katara asked. Sokka looked at her like she was insane.

"Hey, I don't control the perfume… but I do control you!" Sokka snapped his fingers, and the other three were in a trance.

"Ok… Zuko, when you get back to your ship, I want you to take off all your clothes and do the funky chicken and the Macarena in front of your uncle. Oh, and while you're doing that, sing 'You're Beautiful.' Katara… I want you to forget about our argument and… kiss your boyfriend on the cheek. Aang, after Katara kisses you then kiss her on the mouth, ok?" They all nodded.

"And you won't remember my instructions, or that I hypnotized you. Everyone, cork your perfume bottles." The three hypnotized ones corked the bottles.

"Zuko, you'd best get going, ok?" Zuko nodded and walked off toward his ship. Sokka turned to Katara and Aang.

"Guys… wake up!" Sokka snapped his fingers. Katara and Aang looked fazed for a moment, then Katara kissed Aang on the cheek. Aang turned bright red.

"What was that for?" he asked her. Katara scratched her head.

"I don't know… Sokka are you ok?" Sokka was staring at the couple bewilderedly.

"Oh my god… the perfume worked!" he said. Aang pulled in Katara for a you-know-what. Katara giggled, bowing her head. Sokka laughed soundlessly.

Back at the ship, Zuko stepped into his uncle's room. Looking up, his uncle saw Zuko's family jewels and screamed like a little girl. And Zuko followed Sokka's instructions, much to his uncle's horror.

Hahaha I thought that was funny… please review!


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